I came here for this. 

I appreciate Guadagnino saying before that his vision of Suspiria was more of a “cover” than a remake. That made me resent the film way less early on than I would have had I been expecting the Technicolor masterwork that came before. It allowed me to come in with a much more open mind to appreciate what he had to say in his reimagining.

That being said, I didn’t like it. It’s added an hour of material that doesn’t add anything for me. There are moments of pure brilliance (my jaw was on the floor during that first memorable dance scene), but these are few and far between. Tilda is at her Tildiest in her dual roles, but even that isn’t enough to save this for me. The dream sequences promised me a thrilling climax which ultimately proved excessive, even with the name Suspiria attached to it.

The most exciting part of this whole thing for me is that every single relevant character (even the men) are played by powerful actresses in the prime of their careers. It turns the genre and the culture of its source material on its head, and proves to be an interesting case study.

I feel like this is what Republicans think feminism is? Or at least what parents imagine when their children tell them they want to be a ♥*♡+:｡.｡dance major｡.｡:+♡*♥.