• Nami

    Nami

    We laughed.

  • GYO: Tokyo Fish Attack

    GYO: Tokyo Fish Attack

    ★★

    Junji Ito has a problem.

    Imagine a locomotive with just enough coal to shovel into the engine to see it to its destination. A practiced shoveller (whatever the term is man, idk crud about old trains) would add bit by bit, remaining consistent across the journey, ensuring it reaches its destination. Ito on the other hand usually says @#*& it, and shoves all the coal in at the start.

    What does this amount to? Some of the most interesting horror…

  • Nekromantik

    Nekromantik

    ★★★½

    Rating no budget experimental movies is always a tricky endeavour. Do you appraise what could have been? Or do you remain confined to an analysis of what had to be?

    The theatre scene alone justifies this entire feature; a surreal and astute window into how desensitised to misogynistic violence in movies the viewer has become, owed to a progressively gratuitous oversaturation of shock value in horror cinema. Desensitised to the point of being able to derive sexual pleasure from the…

  • Ready Player One

    Ready Player One

    ★★

    "Damn you deep into this, are you the president of the RPO hate club"

  • The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

    The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

    ★★★½

    Werner Herzog sure knows how to threaten me with a good time.

  • Don't Look Now

    Don't Look Now

    ★★★★★

    Enter the prison of grief: a man's daughter drowns; his reverberating screams bleed his throat as sanguine as her drenched coat.

    Enter prison of grief: transition to Venice, the man is surrounded by a water he can neither escape nor admit to affecting him. You bury your grief, you turn away, sometimes even run; but it's always there, and so are you.

    Enter the prison of grief: restoring churches is the man's chosen occupation. An attempt to repair shattered memories.…

  • Alice Sweet Alice

    Alice Sweet Alice

    ★★★★

    Time may have religated this shocker to obscurity, but such only proves to enhance the surprise that accompanies its deserved discovery. Alice sweet Alice wears its influences like a yellow raincoat; heavily inspired by the Italian Giallo thrillers. Its closest inspiration comes from that of the Roeg's "Don't Look Now", yet manages to mold its own shape within the vested shadow of it's influence.

    Hailing from Irish ethnicity, not too divorced from the tragedy of the unearthed Magdalene Laundries, the…

  • Elf

    Elf

    ★★

    If that company wanted a good story why did they ask Tyrion to come instead of Bran?

  • Wonder Woman 1984

    Wonder Woman 1984

    ★★½

    A failure of tone but not one of message, yet much too long for its own good. This marrying of a dull character and a terrible performance is past due for a divorce. Some fun can be found in Chris Pine's fish out of time performance, and Pedro Pascal's 80s villain (with an actually interesting power) but when all was said and done I was just left with three questions:

    -why wasn't the rest of the movie as cheesy as…

  • The Polar Express

    The Polar Express

    ½

    I just realised this was unironically the first movie I ever watched that I didn't like. I was what, 7/8 at the time?

    Tough crowd.

  • Faust: Love of the Damned

    Faust: Love of the Damned

    ★★

    This is the movie where that girl melts into that thing. That's really all that can be said about this.
    Oh, jeffrey combs is in it. That's something too.

  • Grizzly Man

    Grizzly Man

    ★★★★½

    The folly of man is thinking they understand nature right up until it's too late to realise they don't.