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  • Money Plane

    Money Plane

    The abysmal Money Plane, so low-grade it makes porn productions look lavish, is such bafflingly brain-dead trash it’s an embarrassment to watch even in the shared communal misery of a group party chat. Its only saving grace is the hilariously scene-chewing Kelsey Grammer, hamming it up as a murderous Frasier-gone-rogue named Darius Emmanuel Grouch III, and yes, that’s really his name. But don’t bother without friends.

  • Jurassic Park III

    Jurassic Park III

    Entirely lacking in charm, character or anything resembling the harrowing, fun action sequences the series is known for, I knew revisiting the straight-to-DVD-esque schlock of JPIII was probably a waste of time. Afterwards I learned it was originally conceived with an entirely different and more intricate script – one that Sam Neill signed on for. Spielberg and Joe Johnston scrapped it five weeks before shooting began, and a replacement was never finished. That’s really all that needs to be said.

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  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    ★★½

    Impeccable direction (and especially editing), meticulous production/art design, two electrifying lead performances – if an underused one in Pitt – and yet there’s not really a movie here. If you like Tarantino’s brand of pastiche this is him at his most self-indulgent, pushing his well-honed approach to the point of marginalizing history to emphasize the total dominance of filmed commodities in an idealized Hollywood. As it is, the result feels as if he (improbably) wanted to capture the feel-good audience…

  • Nanook of the North

    Nanook of the North

    ★★★

    I’m not entirely sure I know how to rate Nanook. I acknowledge its importance for indigenous cinema (and its significance for worse reasons, like racist caricature) but don’t know quite how I should feel about it.