• Mile 22

    Mile 22

    At least it was only 90 minutes.

  • Dracula

    Dracula

    ★★★½

    Would be a lot better if Keanu's performance wasn't that flaccid.

  • Hard Target 2

    Hard Target 2

    ★½

    Shits the bed and then some. Everybody involved in this production should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

  • Hard Target

    Hard Target

    ★★★★½

    There's a fine line between camp and kitsch and this movie never teeters towards the latter. Even potentially silly moments like a slow-mo shot of the female protagonist getting slapped look earnest in the hands of Prime-Woo.

    Side note: What the fuck is going on with Van Damme's hair?

  • Demon Slayer: Mugen Train

    Demon Slayer: Mugen Train

    ★★★★

    Once more in Imax before it permanently leaves theaters.

  • Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

    Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

    ★★½

    ...better than the first one?

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

    Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

    ★½

    1 star for the opening sequence.

    Half a star for Chow Yun Fat.

    Minus 3+1/2 stars for being the cinematic equivalent of a prostate exam.

  • Tokyo: The Last War

    Tokyo: The Last War

    ★★★½

    Lam Nai Choi was the second unit director of this movie and it shows.

  • Mars Attacks!

    Mars Attacks!

    ★★½

    This movie only really works if you watch it after Ed Wood, but I'll take this any day over any post Sweeney Todd Burton movie.

  • Endless Poetry

    Endless Poetry

    ★★★★

    This is the first Jodorowsky film I've seen that I haven't gotten bored of halfway through so it must mean something I guess.

    Side note: Chris Doyle actually gave a shit and it shows.

  • Tooth Fairy

    Tooth Fairy

    ★★½

    Amnesia dust scene lowkey mvp

  • Goosebumps

    Goosebumps

    ★★½

    As good as a feature length Goosebumps could be. Maybe I'd like this more if I was a kid or if I actually liked Goosebumps.