• The 'Burbs

    The 'Burbs

    ★★½

    So were the neighbors Satan worshippers or not?

  • Lost Highway

    Lost Highway

    ★★★

    It's about what you're expecting from a mid-90s Lynch film: lots of horny chicks, weird doppelgangers, a banging soundtrack, and plot that doesn't make a lick of sense.

    Not a terrible film but it just wasn't weird enough.

  • Robin Hood

    Robin Hood

    ★★★

    Better than expected! Crowe essentially portrays Robin Hood as Maximus in Gladiator, and while the movie is still too long, there’s enough action and intrigue to keep you interested.

    Bonus: Tom from Succession as a bitch-made Sheriff of Nottingham

  • The Card Counter

    The Card Counter

    ★★½

    A strange, ill-cast, slightly disappointing film. Not enough Dafoe, the romance between Isaac and Haddish was a dud, and I still haven't forgiven Tye Sheridan for Ready Player One.

    The protagonist also effortlessly switches between card counting (i.e., blackjack) to championship-level poker halfway through the movie, which are two completely different skills. And the ending? Completely unbelievable.

  • Ocean's Eleven

    Ocean's Eleven

    ★★½

    Andy Garcia should have had George Clooney liquidated immediately

  • Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

    Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

    ★★★★½

    FOUR gleeful hours of me yelling G--G-G-GOT HIS ASS!!!

    Darryl Hannah's character benefits the most from the supercut; it kind of made me hate Bill more, too. Impeccable music and SFX.

  • High and Low

    High and Low

    ★★★★★

    Just another God damn banger from the master Kurosawa himself 

    So much I loved about this -- middle-aged Japanese men talking shop about women's shoes, the dumb kidnappers,  the train footage, the right-hand man getting punked, the fun nightclub, the scary opium den, the sunglasses, the wild final confrontation -- truly the ultimate police thriller

  • 2001: A Space Odyssey

    2001: A Space Odyssey

    ★★★★★

    Saw this on a big screen after taking drugs, I had a great time

  • The Blob

    The Blob

    ★★

    Gruesome body horror is always appreciated but cheesy special effects and a convoluted plot about biological warfare really tank this one.

    The audacity some people have to compare this to The Thing...

  • Body of Lies

    Body of Lies

    ★★

    Who knew American imperialism could be so boring?

  • Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★★

    My favorite part in this is when Not-Wanda Sykes asked Not-Alison Brie if her imaginary friend was a serial killer moments before Not-Where Is My Mind? played.

  • Reservoir Dogs

    Reservoir Dogs

    ★★★★

    "It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop."

    Great use of nonlinear storytelling, very funny, delightful music, dope ending. Might be Keitel's best movie.