Malignant ★★★½

The short review: [reads title again] ohhhhhh

The longer review: I don’t like horror films at all, but I enjoy films with polarizing opinions, and seeing the raft of polarizing opinions on this one made me decide to catch it before it leaves streaming. And what I watched was a movie that was mostly fine and boilerplate horror for about 80 minutes and then absolutely outrageously batshit for the final half hour once the twist is revealed. Yes, it makes absolutely no sense from anything resembling a logical perspective and you can think through the plot holes without too much trouble, but this is a psychological horror movie and not fucking Bicycle Thieves, I’m fine with a lack of realism in the interest of a good time. And this was a good time, less scary than gory and entirely worth it for when the Big Bad finally appears. I’m not gonna sit here and call this a masterpiece or anything, but it’s certainly worth the watch and I can only imagine how much fun this would be to watch at a midnight screening or some such. Good lord, is there a lot of VHS watching in this. Shout out to how funny it is that the iPhone “call over” tone is a way to heighten dramatic tension now.

The (second) short review: [in the voice of Dr. Hibbert] too crazy for Girl’s Town, too much of a girl for Crazy Town

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