Suspiria

Suspiria ★★★

Here's a list of the things I hated the most in Suspiria (2018):

- Tilda Swinton as the professor. It's hands down the worst part of the movie. Every time she/he was on the screen, I felt completely off. Why didn't they cast an actual old man? I read Guadagnino liked the idea of Tilda Swinton being the id, ego and super-ego at the same time. Ok, cool, but it's still awful, and gives nothing to the plot. She even tries to cry at a certain point - at least I guess, because she wears a fucking mask and has zero facial expressions
- The entire old man sub-plot, actually. Who gives a shit about him? I certainly don't.
- The extreme run time. It's tedious, it's frustrating, especially because it's such a disturbing movie... It becomes painful. Seriously, cut off the old man. He got something like a hour of screen time
- Watching Elena Markos being exposed like that was like watching Luke Skywalker milk an alien tit
- Even though the cinematography is beautiful, there were some visuals here and there that I couldn't stand. The climax, for example, is just ugly. I understand it's a tribute to low-budget horror cinema in the 70s bla bla bla I don't care. It's bad.
- Editing is sometimes too fast my brains hurt (e.g. the opening scene with Chloë Grace Moretz)
- Suspiria (1977) is one of my all time favourite films. You don't mess with the films I love, Luca.


Here's a list of the things I liked:

- That fucking soundtrack.
- Tilda Swinton as Madame Blanc. She's perfect, gorgeous and scary at the same time, I love her
- Tilda Swinton's hair
- Tilda Swinton smoking cigarettes
- I didn't see that love story coming!
- Practical effects.
- THAT SCENE in the mirrors room is almost unbearable. I hated it, and that's totally fine (real horror, bitches!)
- Nightmares scenes are fucking scary
- What happens in the climax is pure, glorious, gory horror madness.

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