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  • Midway



    Since the dawn of film criticism we’ve used cardboard as a way to describe bland or underdeveloped characters. That cliché ends today. From now on your characters and stories are going to be solely judged on whether or not they’re as engaging as Dennis Quaid’s rash in Midway, which has more personality than every single character in this near seven hour vanilla slog.

Recent reviews

  • The Midnight Sky

    The Midnight Sky


    5/5 for not being Suburbicon.

    4/5 for the blood spewing out the astronaut's suit in zero gravity shot (should've went harder for that 5/5).

    1/5 for this not being a science-fiction film but secretly a YA science-fiction film which the Cloonster and the heads of Netflix's marketing department should face prison time for.

    -5/5 for the Sweet Caroline sing-a-long scene where you can clearly see Kyle Chandler's soul slowly being sucked out of his body and dragged straight down to hell.

  • The Trial of the Chicago 7

    The Trial of the Chicago 7


    Entirely engaging and watchable up until the final scene which is so mismanaged and embarrassing that it forces you to reevaluate everything leading up to it. On the surface this is solid. In one of those rare instances it doesn't matter too much how bland the director is when his writing, editor, and actors are all in sync with one another. Fast as fuck and I can honestly say that I wasn't bored once. Anytime the characters get into those…

Popular reviews

  • Sex, Lies, and Videotape

    Sex, Lies, and Videotape


    I was always peeved that this film won the Palme d'Or over Spike Lee's film. So much that when I first watched it, a few years ago when I was getting started in film, I turned it off after 15 minutes and claimed it to be one of those film classics that I didn't approve of. Because I was being edgy back then. Finally coming back for a full viewing on a Saturday afternoon, I prove my young self-worth wrong…

  • The Hateful Eight

    The Hateful Eight


    How can you tell if someone saw The Hateful Eight in 70mm?

    Don't worry, they'll tell you.

    Just like myself.

    I saw The Hateful Eight in 70mm.

    And it was glorious.

    I do question the use of 70mm for a film of Hateful Eight's scale, though. While it does lead to the best shot/opening shot of all of Tarantino's films only the beginning 30% of the film takes place in the wide snowy plains of Wyoming while the other 70%…