Solo: A Star Wars Story ★½

Ron Howard has to be my least favorite mainstream director. I didn’t know he was directing this or I would have put off seeing it. 

When I found out they were making a Han Solo prequel, I was extremely apprehensive. No one else is Harrison Ford. Everyone they were considering to play Han was relatively inferior.  Alden Ehrenreich (Han) looks more like Jack Nicholson than Harrison Ford. This may work to his advantage in the future, but not here.

Let’s go over the worst things in Star Wars history:
 Jar Jar Binks, Luke and Leia kissing, and this atrocity.

This one seemed to be more violent than the other Star Wars stories. They (the “good” guys) rejoiced over humans dying. It was pretty horrible. The female characters were pretty disposable. The actresses who played them are good, but I am so appalled and sad for them that this is the type of stuff they were offered.

There was a random light saber fight that seemed like it was mandated by the studio. There was no background or depth; let’s just kill people. Emilia Clarke (Qi’ra) can’t act. Merging Star Wars and Game of Thrones is practically incestuous. It’ll work for some people, of course, but it will repel others. If Clarke could act, I wouldn’t have really cared. But she can’t act, so I am enraged at having to sit through this. 

Two things I liked that kept me from rating it lower: Chewbacca and Woody Harrelson. Enough said. 

Rating: 2.5/10

Vegan alert: 
-They talk about roasting creatures and eating them.
-Dog caught in crossfire (portrayed as humorous and laughed off).
-Animal skulls hanging in the gambling house.
-Qi’ra wears a fur.

This is the 228th film I’ve seen using Movie Pass.

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