Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again ★★★★★

So you’re telling me there’s people on this earth who don’t recognize Mamma Mia! (2008) as the cinematic masterpiece that it is? Imagine hating the world THAT much. The worst thing about this sequel is that it has revealed all of the negative cynics in the world who can’t have fun. If we as a society can’t acknowledge this series, or at least the first one, as the masterpiece that it is then stop the world, I wanna get off. Continuity errors? WHO CARES. Underwhelming performances? WHO CARES. Script errors? WHO CARES. DONNA DANCES THROUGH A GREEK FIELD OF ORANGES AND IS CHASED BY A GOAT!! SHE DOES RANDOM CARTWHEELS JUST BECAUSE!! THERE’S A RANDOM HORSE IN A BARN THAT NEEDS TO BE RESCUED. WHY? I DON’T CARE WHY. CHER IS BASICALLY PLAYING CHER AND HAS NO ACTUAL CHARACTER. DO I CARE? NOPE, I’M HERE FOR IT. SAM HAS PICTURES OF DONNA TAKEN IN 1979 THAT SOMEHOW LOOK LIKE THEY WERE TAKEN ON A MODERN DAY IPHONE. DOES IT MAKE SENSE? NO. DO I CARE? NO. HARRY SAYS IN THE FIRST MOVIE THAT HE WAS ON THE ISLAND WITH DONNA BUT IN THE FLASHBACK IN THIS ONE IS NEVER ON THE ISLAND AND IS ONLY WITH DONNA BEFORE SHE LEAVES. ROSIE AND BILL MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE FIRST MOVIE BUT THEN THIS MOVIE TRIES TO SAY THEY MET WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN EACHOTHER. DOES IT LINE UP? NO. DO I CARE? NO. ALL OF THE PEOPLE ON A SUPPOSEDLY HIDDEN AND REMOTE GREEK ISLAND ALL SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH? SURE, WHY NOT. IN THE FIRST ONE THEY SAY THAT BILL SUPPOSEDLY HAS AN AUNTIE WHO KNEW ABOUT DONNA AND THE BABY AND GAVE HER MONEY THINKING IT WAS BILL’S BABY BUT THAT DOESN’T LINE UP IN THE STORY OF THE SEQUEL? SO WHAT. I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE MAMMA MIA! IS CRITICISED AND NITPICKED. While you’re all still here writing think pieces about the cinematography I’ll be with Donna and the Dynamos grooving to Super Trooper or cruising through the Greek sea on Bill’s boat. Thank you for listening.

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