Call Me by Your Name

Call Me by Your Name ★★★★★

When I go into the theater to watch a movie I'm really excited for, I get scared that something's wrong with me.


All too often I hype up a movie, and I read how much other people love it and how much it effected them and I get hopeful that it'll do something like that to me too, that it'll move me. But then it doesn't, no matter how personal it feels, no matter how close to my life it is, no matter how expertly made the movie is it almost always lets me down. A Ghost Story is one of those films; even if it is my movie of the year at this point, it still didn't give me that catharsis I needed, that escape from reality, or that moment of feeling "someone gets me!" And part of that I believe is my complete inability to turn off my brain, to stop these cogs from churning, to be constantly thinking about something or someone, and to never be able to appreciate what's in front of me.

That let down has been happening more and more recently, scaring me into believing that I'm some kind of heartless monster, or that art (maybe specifically movies but I don't know) doesn't effect me. And for someone who has wanted to be a director since I was 7, that's one of the most terrifying thoughts in the world.

So as Call Me By Your Name started, I was scared. And for about 20 minutes, I stayed scared. I was thinking things like "why did that scene end like that?" and "dear god I'm in between two old grandpa's the gay stuff is going to be so uncomfortable" and "what am I gonna rate this thing what rating are you feeling Ian huh!?"

It was unbearable.


But then it stopped.


Something about the beautiful images, the sensuality, the humanity of it all...it made me stop thinking.


It was like being with the person you love.


And I thought I was going to go on and on about everything that's perfect about this movie, like the pain of the soundtrack and the dream-like cinematography and how the acting is that of two people who are really in love and in pain, but the only thing that needs to be said is that watching this movie was like being in love.

It was like being alone with the one person who makes you feel complete, it was like going on adventures with them and feeling that joy of having stories that just you two experienced, it was like feeling their body, feeling their comfort, feeling their trust, feeling their passion.

It's a feeling so hard to describe, but anyone who's ever really been in love with someone should know instantly what I'm talking about, and if you're someone who once had that but is now lost and need that again, in some way, you need to see this movie RIGHT NOW.


It was just...I've never felt like I wanted a movie to cuddle me before. This is very weird for me.


The best movie of the year, probably in the top 5 of the decade so far.

Experience love.

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