Charlie's Angels ★½

I tried SO SO SO hard to like this but at every single turn it felt straight up determined to test my goodwill. I can’t help but imagining a Sony exec holding a gun to the editors head and being like “we’ve spent so much of the budget on this goddamn soundtrack so you better mix the sound til Ariana Grande’s whiny head voice drowns out every single line of dialogue goddammit!” Considering the budget looks like it was $500 I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if this was the case, and the action is SO lazy (IS ANYONE GOING TO DRAW ATTENTION TO THE FACT THE BIGGEST KILL IS JUST LIFTED STRAIGHT FROM JANE THE VIRGIN?!?!). Everyone was fine I guess but the angels have no chemistry and I’d be happy if Elizabeth Banks never acted again.

P.S. I would move heaven and earth to own Kristen Stewart’s sequin playsuit/boot ensemble from the last scene.

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