Frances Ha

Frances Ha ★★★★½

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm not a real person yet."

I'm petrified of what the future holds for me.

Petrified of the career I've chosen. Petrified of being in debt. Petrified at the thought of struggling for money well into my 20s, when just a few years ago, I was daydreaming about world tours and other outlandish things that now seem like just that: a dream. It's a dream that I'll earnestly work towards nonetheless.

I'm not a STEM student. I'm not a management student even though I had studied commerce for two years following 10th grade. I realised that I couldn't see myself in a corporate environment all my life, and that it would suck the joy of living out of me. So I looked to change directions for my Bachelor's degree, and went with English. I'm going to graduate next year, and I have aspirations of going to Europe for my Master's degree. But it's not all that easy, is it? Even if I do reach my desired destination, what then? "What's the job market like for Humanities students?" is a question that pops up in my head a depressing amount of times everyday. I love what I study, but I don't love thinking about what life holds for me after I'm done studying.

Watching Frances still trying to get her shit together at the age of 27 terrified me. The idea of "struggling for a job" well into my 20s hadn't hit me as hard before. Watching her live in a different city from her parents, struggling to make end's meet, moving in and out of houses and drifting in and out of people's lives, all the while trying to do her best everyday in the cozily shot, monochrome New York made me smile as much as it made me realise that I might end up going through the same things one day.

I'm scared and certainly not worldly wise, but if ennui decides to befriend me like it did Frances, all I ask is for Modern Love to accompany me in the background and cheer me up just a little bit while I try to find a way out of the quicksand.

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