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  • Toy Story 4

    Toy Story 4

    ★★½

    Ok if that bitch Bonnie doesn’t see Woody for the ride or die hoe that he is, then maybe she doesn’t deserve to make it through kindergarten.

  • The Master

    The Master

    ★★★★

    I was not expecting the words “I want to fart in your face” to be uttered in this movie. That said, high-brow comedy is always welcome.

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  • The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    ★★★★★

    Linus is tragically misunderstood. Honestly, if there was a kid writing in a dream journal I would take it up as my civil responsibility to bully him too.

  • The Greatest Showman

    The Greatest Showman

    ½

    I hate this movie with such passion, I cannot even think of a funny way to criticize it.