Solo: A Star Wars Story ★★★½

- What's going on down there? Come in!

- Uh, I just watched the new Solo movie. Everything is in control. A little vacuous and poorly written, but in control. Disney hasn't fucked up yet, despite worrying production problems and the hilariously ironic need for acting coaches. Anyone who has seen Hail, Caesar! knows what I'm talking about.

- What happened exactly? Would you care to specify?

- Uh, I don't really want to. Too many specifics could cost me my life. Or at the very least, a couple of hundred followers. But it's a fine film. It's all fine, thank you. How are you?

- We're sending a squad up.

- Uh, uh, negative, negative. We had a spoiler leak here now. Give me a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak…very dangerous.

- Who is this? What's your operating number?

- Uh…


…it was a boring review anyway.

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