• Jack Brown: Genius

    Jack Brown: Genius

    ★★★★½

    literally completely conceivable how this failed with critics and audiences alike, so many things just don’t work or come together, just an insane kooky little cocktail that’s totally designed to appeal to all the wrongly crossed wires in my brain that creates my incredibly niche and offputting taste

  • Tron

    Tron

    ★★★★★

    bruce boxleitner as alan bradley/tron it seems i’ve grown quite fond of you though there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom i once picked apples with in papa’s orchard

  • Doctor Who: The Runaway Bride

    Doctor Who: The Runaway Bride

    i’m literally just like the doctor cause i miss rose tyler so bad it’s unreal

  • The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute

    The Nutcracker and the Magic Flute

    ½

    this film is like if a nutcracker adaptation was concocted in a lab with the specific intention of pissing me off i’m not even scraping the bottom of the barrel for a good adaption of the nutcracker anymore i’m fucking going through the gunk underneath the barrel at this point

  • Life-Size

    Life-Size

    ★★★★½

    i love dolls !!! i love movies !!!! i love movies about dolls !!!!!

  • The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

    The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

    ★★★★

    everyone asking whose idea it was to pair the wind in the willows and sleepy hollow together as if the back to back levels of mr. toad and ichabod’s unmitigated rizz wasnt reason enough

  • Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

    Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

    ★★★

    would have made a really cool limited run comic that actually had good visuals but instead it’s a mediocre film how sad :/

  • Monster in the Closet

    Monster in the Closet

    ★★★★

    kevin peter hall nation rise up ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️

  • The Midwife's Tale

    The Midwife's Tale

    ★★★★½

    god i wish this was available in higher quality, very tender albeit imperfect lesbian medieval folktale, i think the pacing is a little too slow at times but the sweet moments between eleanor and gwenyth make up for all its flaws in abundance

  • Babes in Toyland

    Babes in Toyland

    ★★★½

    really charming sets and costumes, it’s the kind of obvious theatrical artifice that i wish was still used in film today it’s just so fun, i don’t think anything beats watching people interact within clearly handcrafted fantastical worlds

  • Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

    Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

    ★★★

    cute ! underwhelming but cute !

    as charming as it is to have all the original film actors back,,, i think it was honestly a detriment a lot of what made the performances so good and memorable was the physicality and facial expressions each performer brought to their role that most of them failed to get across in their delivery unfortunately.

    i don’t really have a big attachment to scott pilgrim, never got round to reading the graphic novels and…

  • The Super Mario Bros. Movie

    The Super Mario Bros. Movie

    ★★★

    where was funky kong