Lady Bird

Lady Bird ★★★★★

this is long and rambly and very personal and has little to do with this movie and i am literally the last person to get super fucking sentimental about high school BUT, i'm graduating tomorrow (sort of, as much as someone can properly graduate while social distancing). i haven't rewatched this film since junior year and haven't even thought about watching it all senior year (surprisingly) but revisiting right now seemed perfect.

miss lady bird and i, surprisingly, have a lot of things in common, i.e. getting waitlisted from a Big New York College that we both dreamed of getting into and then actually getting accepted -- except i didn't end up going, and i'm staying in california instead. figuring out college has been a total mess actually. i was so convinced since childhood that there was a proper way for everything, a clean, straight path through life. i was initially rejected from the college i am (hopefully) going to in the fall, a college i never even really considered because it seemed so far out of reach. my mom urged me to appeal my decision and i did VERY grudgingly, grumbling about how it would never amount to anything and she'd see when i got the results back, but i did it for her anyway. and then i fucking got in. and i wouldn't have if she hadn't pushed me to do it. i then had to un-commit from a college that i had previously set everything upon, had been so convinced held my future because the chance of getting accepted off the NY school's waitlist (which, surprise surprise, was too expensive for me to go to anyway) or having my appeal accepted seemed impossible. but it happened. and i'm still marveling at the fact that it did.

nothing feels real right now; the way time is moving during this quarantine, the fact that i'll be graduating in a movie theater tomorrow wearing a mask, and just every aspect of daily life. but even if things feel nightmarishly unrealistic, my future is something that has felt like an unrealized dream come true, one i never even saw coming. i'm so happy with where i'm going, and if any other hs seniors are reading this, i wish you the best of luck in what lies ahead of you and i'm so proud of you for making it through these past four years <3

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