This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Maxx’s review published on Letterboxd:
This review may contain spoilers.
Second viewing spoiler thoughts:
-Opening text tells us stuff that's only relevant for the opening scene
-Second female villain named Proxima in a movie this past month
-A "happy" version of the Imperial March exists in-universe
-Han got his name because he was alone and some Imperial dude was like "Solo sounds like a good last name"
-That one dude shouting "My leg" straight out of a Spongebob episode
-Was that Tag and Bink as the two mudtroopers?
-Chewie has eaten humans, apparently
-Chewie has seen Han's junk
-Lady droid wants to bone Lando but gets stuck as the Millenium Falcon's computer
-GONK DROID STEPS ON A COMPUTER
-Mask Of The Phantasm-esque reveal with Enfys Nest
-Enfys Nest is the girl from Brave
-Warwick Davis shows his face at last
-"Big Shot Gangster" line was sequelbait all this time
-A few notes from Duel Of The Fates play when Darth Maul appears
-I'm going to have to explain to all my friends and relatives why Darth Maul is still alive
-Second movie to have a red faced villain in a black hood make a surprise cameo this past month
-Second movie this past month to have Paul bettany with light up stuff on his face
-Han knows Wookiee like Thor knows Groot
-Asteroid Chase theme plays during Kessel Run (TLJ did the same thing)
-Han got his blaster, met Lando and Chewie, reunited with a childhood friend, did the kessel run, won the Falcon and shot first all within two days