Eternals ★★★

Struggling to put this one into words, but it's kinda like a menu at a pizza place promising you a creme brulee, and that sounds kinda good, so you order it and then they bring out a slice of pizza smeared in cinnamon and custard, and are like "see, we used the creme brulee ingredients." And it's like, hard to eat, and you're left wondering why this place even tried to serve this, and why you even ordered it when the pizza you normally get is perfectly fine, even though you've been eating too much pizza lately and you're kinda getting tired of it and putting on a little bit of weight and should like, eat more asparagus. And you know they're only serving it because a couple years ago they served a really thoughtfully put-together gyro pizza, like it held together really nicely and they used the tzatziki sauce in a clever way that won them some chef award. And this is NOT that. But the crust is still good, and you're here with your buddy Kumail who's always a good hang, and you're just kinda chilling for a bit and there are a few moments where you dissociate and are like "ok, you know, that's not a totally bad flavor combo, the fennel seed is a nice touch," and you kinda step back afterwards and are like "ok wait, why did they use a bay leaf, that shit isn't in pizza OR creme brulee..." But also, part of you kinda isn't opposed to ordering it again sometime... just not right now. This movie is kinda like that

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