Ben has written 24 reviews for films rated ★½ .

  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

    ★½

    Made me really want to order a PIZZA HUT CHEESE PIZZA with a side order of ORANGE CRUSH while calling my mom on SKYPE

  • Space Jam: A New Legacy

    Space Jam: A New Legacy

    ★½

    DOA

    Lowkey liked the goon squad designs and the amount of 2D amination was more than expected. Extra half a star for the abject horror the Tunes go through while being rendered...

    Don Cheadle using CHEAT codes, guess he was really Don CHEATle.

    Why does everyone hate Marvin???

  • The New Mutants

    The New Mutants

    ★½

    I can see why the CW didnt pick up this series after such a lackluster pilot

  • Star Wars: The Clone Wars

    Star Wars: The Clone Wars

    ★½

    A Chronological Watch/Re-Watch of the Star Wars Cinematic/Television Universe: Part 3

    Watched after viewing Clone Wars Season 1: Episode 17

    YUHS! (👍)
    - Establishes some stuff for the upcoming (and much better!) TV series
    - Could be viewed as a VERY rough draft of some things found in The Mandalorian (ie baby hutt = baby yoda). It's Filoni so that's not an unreasonable take!

    HUHS? (🤔)
    - Art direction is appreciably unique, but with a not so great execution. Like…

  • Magic Camp

    Magic Camp

    ★½

    Better than Jexi.

    A cursed relic.

    Plain and consumable like a gas station sandwich.

  • The Wicker Man

    The Wicker Man

    ★½

    No one wanted to finish a sentence the whole goddamn film.

  • Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

    Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

    ★½

    I like how this motherfucker knows who Persephone is but doesn't know what a centaur is when he sees them galloping down the beach smh

    Also, these demigods have ZERO interest in helping mortals on their "quest". There is a cavalier disregard for mortals that was probably unintentional, but very fitting for Greek gods.

  • Jonah Hex

    Jonah Hex

    ★½

    Did this cast make any more sense in 2010???

  • Eegah

    Eegah

    ★½

    This movie is a bop.

  • Venom

    Venom

    ★½

    This movie is really fucking weird, while at the same time, really fucking plain. There's so much time spent building up and coming down from the VENOM that movies pacing feels wack! The bulk of these two stars is Tom Hardy's raging emphaticism of playing a guy with an alien organism in him. It's truly a joy to watch. Also Venom has the most cringey lines?! I love lobster tank scene. Also this cast is amazing but given poo poo lines to say. Sorry Riz :(

  • Aladdin

    Aladdin

    ★½

    EYUGGGH!

    What a tedious affair this was.

    Jafar was so amazingly bland!

    Genie tried so hard 😢

    Was a bunch of this improvised? A lot of this just felt like really bad improv meet cutes where no one pushes forward any action.

    Couple of good bops and cool choreography. Giant Iago is no Giant Snake

  • Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

    Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

    ★½

    Man I miss all the cool look'n Jedi :'( Plo Koon and Kit Fisto always gonna have a place in my heart ❤️