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  • Mid90s

    Mid90s

    ★★★★★

    Reminds me of the good ol' days when all of us were in our mid 20s.

    My sinful grandpa was actually in his mid 90s when he died of AIDS-related bronchioles. I heard the news when the paperboy shouted "Hey ya damn zoomer! Your dirty WW1 vet grandpa died of AIDS-related bronchioles!" I skated out on my boomer mobile upon hearing this news. Me and the boys skated up to my grandpa's wake that night. T-Bone did a flip over his dead, deceased, long forgotten bod! It was freaking tight!

    10/10, why Jonah Hill gotta be skinny tho?

  • The Final Year

    The Final Year

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The five stars are because it ended!

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  • Cuck

    Cuck

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I have been anxiously awaiting the release of this kooky flick for several months. I haven't been excited for it, but I've been wondering of to will be any fun for my kids. And believe me, my kids had a very fun time.

    "Cuck" (the 2019 film, to be clear as there are several other ones) is a genius work of cinema that spoke to me on a very deep and personal level. Now, I feel like I need to…

  • Love, Simon

    Love, Simon

    ★★

    Love, Simon is the hit 2018 film about a gay boy coming out to everyone and getting arrested for indecent exposure after fucking a jewish boy on a Ferris wheel.

    Now, as an Aryan, anti-Semitic, islamophobic, wife-beating, alcoholic southerner who whips gay boys when they ask me for candy on Halloween, I was a bit skeptical about how appropriate this movie was for my Christian family. But it surprised me by somehow being worse than how I expected it to…