Don't get your hopes up about the 3-D, though I did enjoy the ballyhoo of an entire theatre donning glasses when cued like we were watching a William Castle movie. Frankly tedious but swoony and genuinely dreamlike; I like it a lot in the rearview.
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I hate this movie for all its cutesy quoting of Wrath of Khan while trying and spectacularly failing to sublet its gravitas. I hate it for casting the whitest actor on Earth as a man named Khan Noonien Singh. I hate it for the way that every shot in the back half is a three-ring circus of lens flares, cluttered sets, and CGI embellishments. I hate it for turning Spock into Sheldon from "The Big Bang Theory". I hate it…
Sophie's Choice made me feel unclean, because it's the story of a Polish immigrant purging her most shameful secret, framed as the story of a Southern doofus losing his virginity to the same woman, a victim of the concentration camps. La Meryl's good, shrug; it's a very Garbo performance, if Garbo were a perfect acting machine. Much was made of William Styron's agenda in writing the source novel, i.e., to show that it wasn't just card-carrying Jews who suffered during…