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  • Terminator: Dark Fate

    Terminator: Dark Fate

    ★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    So... remember that old dumb joke about the black box being the only thing that survives an airplane crash, so they should make all airplanes out of the same material? Sadly, the same holds true with this movie.

    If Grace's power source can totally eradicate a REV-9 Terminator, why the fuck are they wasting it on powering up Augments?!? They could be blowing up REV-9's left and right and there wouldn't even be a future war. Bah!

    Sadly, this doesn't even come close to being my biggest problem with the movie.

  • Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust

    Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    So you THINK that the main villain of this film is the Gingerdead Man, right? Nope. Its actually an angry incel net-nerd who... get this... pretends to be an intellectually handicapped terminally ill beneficiary of a Make a Wish Foundation knock-off, who uses this guise to infiltrate a movie studio so he can destroy it from within because they made a crappy script. Genius.

    I'll just ignore the fact that this plot device is a total rip-off of an episode…

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  • Captain Marvel 2

    Captain Marvel 2

    Clearly, I can't review a film that hasn't been released yet. However, I can make a prediction.

    I predict that there will be a scene that takes place in the mid-2000s wherein Captain Marvel is falling from the sky and crashes through the roof of a Circuit City.

  • Anna and the Apocalypse

    Anna and the Apocalypse

    ★★★

    As far as Zombie Christmas Musicals go... this one is probably the best.