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  • Jurassic Thunder

    Jurassic Thunder

    ½

    Watching Jurassic Thunder is like drinking period blood mouthwash, it’s just not as good as it looks. What I want to know is who funded this shit, Tara Reid? Is this some kind of real life version of The Producers? You might think, oh this will be fun like Birdemic or VelociPastor, but no. Those films had respect for the B genre, this one is just like what Ian Malcolm says to John Hammond in Jurassic Park, “You read what…

  • Ouija Shark

    Ouija Shark

    ½

    Forget about Parasite and Uncut Gems, Ouija Shark is the cinematic masterpiece that you need to be watching in 2020. It brings together not only the greatest natural predator the world has ever seen, but also the greatest supernatural force the world has ever seen, the ouija board. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “This is just another ghost shark movie like Shark Exorcist or.. Ghost Shark!” But no, you’d be dead wrong. This work of art is drowning in…

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  • David Attenborough's Tasmania

    David Attenborough's Tasmania

    ★★★★

    This one flew under the radar. It’s David Attenborough talking about Tasmania, one of the places I would most like to visit, what more could you want?

  • Planet of the Humans

    Planet of the Humans

    ★★★

    Blackpilling the Climate Change Revolution!

    The point of this documentary is basically this; infinite growth on a finite planet is suicide, we must accept that our human presence is already beyond sustainability, and renewables aren’t a solution because they’re just as environmentally destructive as petroleum based energy. There are no solutions.

    I don’t agree with everything presented in the documentary, it’s a Michael Moore produced documentary, so you have to take everything with a grain of salt but the creator…

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  • A Bug's Life

    A Bug's Life

    ★★★★

    Bernie Sanders’ favorite film and the best Pixar film, or at least A Bug’s Life has the best themes; class consciousness and socialism. The ants representing the proletariat, being forced to gather and give products to the oppressive grasshoppers, the bourgeois. Hopper explains, "Those puny little ants outnumber us 100-to-1, and if they figure that out, there goes our way of life. It’s not about food, it’s about keeping those ants in line.” I can’t think of a film to…

  • Ad Astra

    Ad Astra

    ★★★★

    It’s been awhile since a film so polarizing. People seem to either adore it or bitterly loathe it and the people who loathe it act like it murdered their family. Off the top of my head, the last film I can think of that was this polarized was Spring Breakers or Only God Forgives, and somehow Ad Astra feels very similar to these. I think the people who disliked it either wanted it to be more like Interstellar or couldn’t…