• The Godfather: Part II

    The Godfather: Part II


    An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

  • Tenet




    Obnoxiously loud and more preoccupied with it's overcooked concept and less concerned with anyone actually following the story. As always +1 star for Elizabeth Debicki and her cheek zit.

  • The Godfather

    The Godfather


    I get all the jokes now.

  • Berserk



    Everything went wong. Manga time. these big fake leatherbound tomes are sexy and sound good when you slap em.

  • Bill & Ted Face the Music

    Bill & Ted Face the Music


    Not the stupidest B&T, but essentially one giant Guitar Center commerical. Even those most excellent can't escape middle age spread and reboot fatigue. +1 star for Dennis, -1 for Kid Cudi.

  • Dune



    I may not understand Dune, but it's got enough fleshy opulence and L*nch atmosphere to keep me glued. My favorite Jihadist film.

  • Tesla



    points for the cast and attempted creative metatext, but is essentially the movie equivalent of sleepily clicking through Wikipedia articles late at night. Only other guy in the theater was snoring loudly. No Sparks!

  • Girls' Last Tour

    Girls' Last Tour


    Goodness. There is true beauty to be found in the rubble.

  • The Human Tornado

    The Human Tornado


    Superb, worth turning off Pootie Tang.

  • Cheerleader Camp

    Cheerleader Camp


    exactly what I asked for

  • Murder in the Woods

    Murder in the Woods

    I could tell right away I would not like this. Awful TV editing, zero atmosphere. One star for Danny Trejo. Decided to sneak in to Burnt Orange Heresy to see Elizabeth Debicki's s*x scene again.

  • Gen-X Cops

    Gen-X Cops


    Dear God, please please please let me be a Gen-X Cop so I can live in 90s Hong Kong and go to discos and skydive constantly. Amen.