Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills ★★★

David Gordon Green's follow-up definitely delivers on that title: the kill count is very high and the kills themselves are brutal. This here is a bona-fide SLASHER, and that alone gives it a few stars. I sat in that theatre and felt the reverberations through the audience of every pulverized human body. Even when characters were introduced in a light-hearted care-free manner, they were still dispatched with a stark nihilistic glee. Murmurs behind me of "this is gross" and "this is whack" were a constant like the buzz from a nest of bees.

But wait... they said... "this is whack"...

Oh no... guys... it is actually... whack....

Aside from the brutality and Carpenter's phenomenal score, this is actually a bad movie. We learn this immediately in the poorly edited opening scene that has so much unnatural expositional dialogue that I think Green took the assignment of writing from the perspective of a 12-year-old beyond its metaphorical leanings.

Still, we laughed it off. We enjoyed the gore. We saw where the Shape was taking us. But then we heard it...

"Evil Dies Tonight.... Love Lives Today.... so.... Evil Dies Tonight"

These words rang out loud and hard through the theatre. Into our souls. We were forever changed. Then it came up again and again and again...
It is at this point that Green introduces a plot point so heinous that it becomes a chore to truly keep loving this bloated trainwreck. Cardinal sins of the genre were committed on a constant basis, there was just one too many for my goofy tastes to keep chuckling the nightmare away.

On one hand, it's an enjoyable enough experience that I can award it 3 stars - I didn't hate it, didn't regret going to a theatre to see it, and I could see myself going through it all over again. On the other hand, this guy was given 3 Halloween sequels to have his dirty way with and I haven't been over the moon with any of his attempts, and now I've just heard he's been given the opportunity to do an entire The Exorcist trilogy.
6 new horror films that will guarantee eyes on your screen and butts in seats and 1 guy gets all that gold? Do we need to crack out the pitchforks? This is just getting obnoxious. I'm sorry to piss anyone off by ranting about this, but I'd like a bit more diversity here. Pass the material around to a few other voices. I'm not impressed so far.

Anyways, rant over. Fun enough and the kills almost make it worth it, but otherwise this is kind of a bad movie.

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