• Dave Chappelle: The Closer

    Dave Chappelle: The Closer

    ½

    he spends the ENTIRE special saying homophobic and transphobic shit only to pull a "I'm not transphobic, I have a trans friend" at the end.

  • Prisoners

    Prisoners

    ★★★★½

    My subconscious reason for not watching this yet was that I thought the poster looked boring and I’M SORRY THIS WAS AMAZING

  • The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

    The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

    ★★★★★

    Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi at 21: preparing to rule a small country, having an enemies to lovers romance with Chris Pine, changing the sexist laws in her society

    me at 21: believe it or not, doing none of those things (yet)

  • The Sixth Sense

    The Sixth Sense

    ★★★★

    you know it’s a good film when you guess the twist halfway through, but you still feel what you’re supposed to when it’s revealed

    that’s my subtle way of bragging that I guessed the twist 😎

  • Raw

    Raw

    ★★★½

    this was a lot to digest

  • Squid Game

    Squid Game

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I... simply would not have returned to the game after the majority vote

  • The Guilty

    The Guilty

    ★★★

    dude… imagine calling 911 and the operator is like “I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW!!!”

  • We're the Millers

    We're the Millers

    ★★★

    I'm tired of people acting like it's weird that they think Jason Sudeikis is attractive. he is LITERALLY conventionally handsome!!

    but anyways Jason, if you're reading this I'm free next weekend

    the more I type the name Jason I realize that he doesn't even look like a Jason. he looks like a Robert. Robert Sudeikis.

    I am procrastinating doing my Philosophy homework right now can you tell? I'm just going to copy and paste this review on the canvas discussion board with no context and call it a day. just kidding I don't have the audacity. need for academic validation is more important.

  • Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    it's giving Professor Quirrell

  • Maid

    Maid

    ★★★½

    I'm not feeling articulate enough to write my thoughts down right now but I do recommend this miniseries!

    It's an exhausting watch but it's an important one

  • A Nightmare on Elm Street

    A Nightmare on Elm Street

    ★★★½

    feels kind of awkward going to sleep immediately after watching this. it's like damn, sorry Nancy... but anyways........

  • Everybody's Talking About Jamie

    Everybody's Talking About Jamie

    ★★

    despite the title, I cannot think of a single thing to say about this one