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  • Stargate

    Stargate

    ★★

    They said "this is as far as we've ever gotten," until James Spader identifies the last symbol they needed. Why didn't they just try all the symbols one by one?

  • Ordinary People

    Ordinary People

    ★★★★

    So that's what the Jets To Brazil song is about.

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  • Last Days

    Last Days

    ½

    Oh I can definitely sympathize with the main character, I wanted to fucking kill myself the entire time as well.

  • The Vikings

    The Vikings

    ★★★½

    This movie stars Ernest Borgnine as RAGNAR, lord of all Vikings, whom wields the Mjölnir of acting. He literally SMASHES Kirk Douglas in to the ground. He PUMMELS Tony Curtis to his knees. He rapes and pillages the coast of Janet Leigh. His performance alone sent this movie to box office Valhalla (Valhalla is good). Then I think Kirk Douglas got an eye poked out by Janet Leigh’s bra or something, it’s hard to remember there was a lot of fog.