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  • Godzilla vs. Kong

    Godzilla vs. Kong

    ★★★★★

    the Showa era is back in a BIG way, baby, and i am ALL FOR IT.

    in my review for Ghidorah, Three-Headed Monster, i talk about how the perfect Showa-era Goji formula is "barely serviceable characters plodding along and conveying an entertaining but barely serviceable plot, a collective vehicle to deliver one thing and one thing only: destructive, colorfully-characterized, Fun (with a capital F!) monster carnage.", and this movie is exactly that.

    ever since the Monsterverse started i've been waiting…

  • Monster

    Monster

    ★★★★

    this show seamlessly operates on a multitude of levels, selling to us a familiar world that reeks of societal rot.

    foremost, Monster is an absolute masterclass of character study. every single character introduced onscreen has untold depths and realistic flaws that are explored in an engaging almost operatic manner. it's that juxtaposition of grounded realism and execution/presentation in an operatic vein that makes the show compelling.

    the atmosphere only adds to the gripping intricacies of Monster's labyrinthine webwork of connective character arcs…

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  • The Phantom Menace Review

    The Phantom Menace Review

    love RLM but Plinkett has done more damage to online film discourse than YMS, Nostalgia Critic, and CinemaSins combined.

    godawful.

  • The Doll

    The Doll

    ★★★★★

    a timeless delight from start to finish. just brimming with playfulness and joy, i was laughing and smiling almost nonstop.

    a lot of that delight is definitely due to Ossi Oswalda's FANTASTIC performance. seeing her pantomime her way through situations while pretending to be a robot was endlessly entertaining (it's all in how expressive she is with her eyes and her mouth, man, her subtle comedic mannerisms are just so incredibly timeless).

    perfect film to pop in for an hour if you're having a bad day.

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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    vile and soulless, this film is a spit on the face to just about fucking everyone.

    it's less of a film than it is a saccharine, fake corporate apology, a desperate attempt to hold onto any remaining unalienated fans from abandoning ship.

    and by God, it's absolutely pathetic.

    yes, the film sloppily retcons thematic developments introduced in TLJ, while yes, also conveniently wraps up all of JJ's mystery box elements in 7 through a series of long and utterly boring…

  • Halloween II

    Halloween II

    ★★★★★

    unrated director's cut.

    Halloween II is a revelation, not just an auteristic exercise that's different from any Halloween film before it, it's the culmination of the ENTIRE franchise, taking elements from EVERY film before it.

    it's a harrowing deep dive into the psyche of broken people, people worn away by cruelty, abuse, violence, and evil, wearing them down to become worse than the nightmares that so haunt them. this film is a completely unhinged, grotesque exploration of the darkest corners…