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  • Support the Girls

    Support the Girls

    ★★★★

    Extremely good production design choice to make all the food in this movie look absolutely disgusting.

  • The Jungle Book

    The Jungle Book

    Just circling back around to say that I feel completely insane and alone when people call this such things as "beautiful," "not awful," and "watchable."

    Everybody except Ben Kingsley is mascast, the character design is hideous, the changes to the 1967 movie make no sense and bog the whole thing down, the insistence on winking at the audience is insanely off-putting, and every single joke falls flat.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: this movie gets one…

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  • Captain Marvel

    Captain Marvel

    ★★★

    I don’t remember how to write normal reviews now that I’ve started doing bullet points.

    •It’s so funny that the CIA spends 900 million dollars “consulting” on these Marvel movies and it amounts to, like, one line where Carol changes her suit’s colors to USAF colors because those are good guy colors but audiences still cheer when she says she was on the wrong side of a war because they think she means Iraq.
    •This was the funniest Stan Lee…

  • Fyre Fraud

    Fyre Fraud

    ★★★★★

    It's not actually that good but I'm giving it five stars because I want twenty seven more documentaries about Fyre Fest. Be the change.