Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

one forbidden piece of knowledge that has made my day-to-day life immeasurably more complicated is the fact that brad pitt produced and almost starred as willy wonka. what a .... what a fascinating lens with which to view the text of tim burton’s charlie and the chocolate factory (2005). how would brad have interpreted this role? would it be similar in any way shape or form to d*pp‘s (can’t say his name or the PR damage control bots will be summoned)? would he have worn the same bob with the TERF bangs? if he did, would he still be ... so sorry about this ... sexy?

unfortunately, yes, because brad pitt is inherently sexy. but here’s the thing: i personally do not think that willy wonka should be sexy. i’m aware this is out of character — usually i prefer movies to be at least a little sexy — but in this specific case, no. willy wonka should not be sexy.

that’s a different universe though!! we’re in this one, where willy wonka is not sexy, as it should be. in fact, the biggest problem with this movie is that i like it no matter how badly i wish i didn’t