Les Misérables ★★★★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

some scattered thoughts i had upon my 7000000th rewatch 

-it's straight up a comedy every time javert is onscreen. i laugh every time he pops up in that silly blue outfit. like, jean valjean was in jail for 19 YEARS for STEALING A LOAF OF BREAD & fantine SOLD HER TEETH & HAIR & BODY to pay for her child's care & you're STILL gonna be a dick to them & think you're being a good christian??? 👀

- hugh jackman & anne hathaway give absolutely haunting, heartbreaking performances during Valjean's Soliloquy & I Dreamed a Dream respectively. they never would've been able to pull off that level of depth if the songs had been pre-recorded rather than sung on the spot. there was a good amount of critique about the quality of the singing, but i would gladly sacrifice perfect notes for genuine emotion. that being said, there were some strange tonal issues. you can easily tell which are the broadway stars & which are the film actors based on the way they perform (bways focused on singing, filmies focused on acting) and it was a bit distracting.

-sacha baron cohen is hot as hell & master of the house is a BOP!!!!! 

-i don't get why people swoon over marius when enjolras is RIGHT THERE

- "to love another person is to see the face of god" will always make me cry even though i'm uhh Not Religious. this christian propaganda really works! 

- everyone except javert (LOL) dies exactly how they want to die. jean valjean = surrounded by his family. fantine = with her daughter (albeit a hallucinated one). eponine = in the arms of marius. gavroche + enjolras + all the students = in a blaze of glory, fighting for what is right. also i love how they all go to heaven except for javert. *sips tea* it's what he deserves

- finally, i can't tell if this is even a good movie but please know that i would dramatically jump off a bridge into shallow water & break my neck for it