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  • Paddington

    Paddington

    ★★★★

    thinking about renaming my bear-shaped cat from “bradley pitts” to “braddington,” dressing him in a red hat and blue duffle coat, and training him to perform absurdly endearing physical comedy on command. if anyone knows any speech therapists that could help him learn how to say “if you’re kind and polite, the world will be right,” in a posh english accent please let me know!!! <3

  • The Favourite

    The Favourite

    ★★★★★

    i took my friend to see this and a week later she said it affected her so much that she cried about it for an entire therapy session, which is probably yorgos’s ultimate artistic goal and would mean more to him than any of the major directing awards that he should be earning!

  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

    ★★★½

    i would like this movie. but in high school i think i gaslit myself into pretending to love it more than i did so that boys would think i was a Cool Girl.


    i would like this movie. but in high school i know i saw every single frame of it in over-saturated 2010 gif form over and over and OVER again on t*mblr and i’ve been working hard to block those out. 


    i would like this movie. but its…

  • Nine to Five

    Nine to Five

    ★★★★★

    bloody, dramatic female-driven revenge stories like Kill Bill, Revenge, MFA, Gone Girl, etc. have arguably managed to carve out their own little niche in cinema. they’re cathartic and ruthless — evoking the raw fury of women scorned, the fury we’re taught to stuff down so deep inside of us and to hide with a phony, plastic Barbie Doll smile. as much as i love these films, and as necessary as they are, they’re not relaxing to watch. it’s not pleasant…

  • You Can Count on Me

    You Can Count on Me

    ★★★½

    my most specific Little Cinema Pleasure is when matthew broderick randomly pops up in kenneth lonergan family dramas. distracting in a good way! :)

     my most specific Little Cinema Pet Peeve is when directors cast themselves in speaking roles in their own movies despite their absence of any acting ability. distracting in a bad way! :(

  • Bird Box

    Bird Box

    ★★★

    brad pitt in se7en: WHAT’S IN THE BOoOoOX??? 🔫😤
    me: bird 🙂

  • True Stories

    True Stories

    ★★★★★

    david byrne is the mr. rogers of new wave music because they both: 
    A. exude the same earnest, comforting energy 
    B. are known for their iconic fashion choices (cardigan sweater!!! big suit!!!)
    and C. are the only men who do not immediately set off my fight-or-flight reflex

  • Shoplifters

    Shoplifters

    ★★★★½

    SHOPS = LIFTED 
    TEARS = JERKED 
    THAT ANGELIC LITTLE GIRL WHO AWAKENED MY RETICENT MATERNAL INSTINCTS = ADOPTED (BY ME!!! COME TO MOMMY)

  • Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

    Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

    ★★★★

    (for Much Ado About Cinema’s Top 25 of 2018)

    Over the summer, I saw Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again five times in theaters. Just like young Donna Sheridan, I was also aimlessly stumbling through the miasmic haze of post-grad life. But unlike me, Donna doesn’t succumb to her fear of the future. She waves goodbye to her best friends and jet-sets off to Paris and Greece, where she allows her bountiful spontaneity to manifest itself in the form of…

  • Taylor Swift: Reputation Stadium Tour

    Taylor Swift: Reputation Stadium Tour

    oh god when she talked about how playing certain songs live helps her to transform her saddest memories, rewriting them from bitter to bittersweet, then launched into “All Too Well,” her break-up ballad about jake gyllenhaal ........ custom-making my own t-shirt that says I Spent My New Year’s Eve Crying During Taylor Swift: Reputation Stadium Tour

  • All About Nina

    All About Nina

    ★★★

    a romcom starring mary elizabeth winstead as a leather jacket-wearing stand up comedienne antiheroine sounds like something ripped straight from my diary and yet ......... hm .......... 

    anyway i’m tired of movies about comedians including a subplot about auditioning for a sketch tv show that’s an obvious stand in for SNL (the show’s producer in this film was straight up named larry michaels). maybe this has only happened in like 3 contemporary comedian movies but it sure feels like it’s every single one!!!!!

  • Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

    Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    if we all had our own personal omnipotent deities to force us to go to therapy, perhaps the world would be a better place! there may be many more chopped up dads, but sometimes that is the price you pay for good healthcare