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brat has written 340 reviews for films during 2017.

  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    ★★★★★

    these two bisexuals that look like they just stumbled out of their first vampire weekend concert really had the nerve to make me lay on my floor & cry while listening to sufjan stevens huh

  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    ★★½

    ... thank god colin farrell dumped martin mcdonagh for yorgos lanthimos

  • Carol

    Carol

    ★★★★★

    LGBT culture is sneaking off from your family’s holiday dinner to go watch carol in your room alone

  • I, Tonya

    I, Tonya

    ★★★★½

    Director Craig Gillespie has a habit of turning a bad pitch into a good movie. Lars and the Real Girl, a story about a man who falls in love with a life-size doll, sounds awful on paper. So does a remake of Fright Night. And so does a movie about the infamous Tonya Harding.

    Even though I'm an Oregonian (Sco Ducks!), I didn't know much about the Tonya Harding case going into the movie. My only information was from my…

  • Stronger

    Stronger

    ★★

    all 2 of these stars are for extending the Jake Gyllenhaal Crying in the Shower Cinematic Universe

  • Cool World

    Cool World

    ★½

    (watched on december 18th in honor of mr. william bradley pitt’s 54th birthday)

    brad pitt plays a detective in a too-big suit whose job is to make sure that cartoons & live-action people don’t hook up, but sexy lady cartoons keep trying to seduce him. this is pretty much the entire plot & it’s somehow even worse than it sounds

  • The Shape of Water

    The Shape of Water

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    disbelief-suspendable
    - elisa completely submerging her apartment’s bathroom with water so she can get it on with the fish man 

    NOT disbelief-suspendable
    - giles immediately forgiving the fish man for violently killing & eating his cat?!?!?

  • Thor: Ragnarok

    Thor: Ragnarok

    FBI agent: PICK ONE
    me: i CAN’T
    FBI agent: *pistol whips me* how bout now
    me: it’s ... it’s impossible
    FBI agent: *leans in close to my bloodied face* who is hotter in thor: ragnarok. cate blanchett or jeff goldblum
    me: *through gritted teeth* i said what i said
    FBI agent: you said, “both of them are the hottest babes in the galaxy.” that’s not an answer
    me: *spits blood on the agent* I SAID WHAT I SAID

  • The Disaster Artist

    The Disaster Artist

    ★★★½

    yes, obviously james franco gave an oscar-worthy performance, but i think we’re all tragically overlooking nathan fielder’s 10 lines

  • The Skin I Live In

    The Skin I Live In

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    they had me in the first half with all that voyeuristic male gazing i’m not gonna lie, but the twist left me with a TON of questions in regards to the complex gender politics. feel free to discuss in the comments — i’d love to read some (respectful!!!) opinions to help me figure this film out, especially from non-cis folk!


    -because of almodovar’s gay identity & strong track record of making LGBTQ works, is this a post-gender film? if so, does…

  • A Home at the End of the World

    A Home at the End of the World

    ★★★½

    Biggest Mood of All Time: bisexual colin farrell smoking a joint with robin wright then crying during sex with her

  • Postcards from the Edge

    Postcards from the Edge

    ★★★★

    treated myself to a thirst rewatch for my 22nd birthday because i have the biggest crush on dennis quaid & i’m unashamed!!! there are DOZENS of us