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brat has written 58 reviews for films rated ★★★★½ during 2017.

  • I, Tonya

    I, Tonya


    Director Craig Gillespie has a habit of turning a bad pitch into a good movie. Lars and the Real Girl, a story about a man who falls in love with a life-size doll, sounds awful on paper. So does a remake of Fright Night. And so does a movie about the infamous Tonya Harding.

    Even though I'm an Oregonian (Sco Ducks!), I didn't know much about the Tonya Harding case going into the movie. My only information was from my…

  • The Shape of Water

    The Shape of Water


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    - elisa completely submerging her apartment’s bathroom with water so she can get it on with the fish man 

    NOT disbelief-suspendable
    - giles immediately forgiving the fish man for violently killing & eating his cat?!?!?

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Star Wars: The Last Jedi


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    luke skywalker graphically milking an alien’s tiddy made me vegan

    like, i’m sorry but someone had to mention it. i refuse to let this absurd scene go un-memed. the milk wasn’t even blue; it was GREEN, y’all. GREEN

  • Lady Bird

    Lady Bird


    Eighteen is a messy age. You think you're an adult. (You aren't.) You think you know better than everyone else. (You don't.) You think every decision you make will impact your life forever. (It won't.) As much as the character of Lady Bird outwardly presents herself as unique, she's just like every other eighteen-year-old inside.

    Lady Bird will take you right back to being on that fragile cusp of adulthood. I'm in that headspace while writing this. Which is why…

  • Coco



    Drenched in vibrant violet and singed sienna, the world of Coco is a visual feast. Not only that, it touches on topical political themes such as the unjust rigidity of Mexican border control in a way that never seems heavy-handed. Sure, it's a bit depressing that the evils of the real world have seeped into a film aimed at children, but it's important to remember that art is inherently political, even if we don't necessarily want it to be. It's…

  • Good Time

    Good Time


    wish i could think about this movie for longer than 3 seconds without getting good time by owl city feat. queen carly rae jepsen stuck in my head. seriously, i’ve been trying to write down ANYTHING i can think of but the line wha ohh a ohhh ohhhh it’s always a good time is just ... incessantly taunting me. i don’t even like this song. actually, i think i hate it. actually, i know i hate it. please consider renaming…

  • The Killing of a Sacred Deer

    The Killing of a Sacred Deer


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    i’m the sacred deer

    wait no i’m the girl begging colin farrell to kill her

    wait no i’m the kid begging colin farrell to take off his shirt 

    wait no i’m th

  • Thelma & Louise

    Thelma & Louise


    i watched this with my one friend who thinks brad pitt is ugly. i know i know, shocking right? i can’t believe i, brat pitt, am friends with someone who thinks brad pitt is ugly either. 

    anyway, it didn’t go well

  • Nowhere



    the ~aesthetic~ of this movie is basically just WHAT IF TUMBLR WAS ACTUALLY COOL and i know that sounds lame but get this: it’s actually cool??

  • Manifesto



    brb getting a fuckin phd in art & philosophy just so i can 100% comprehend every single word uttered by acting queen cate blanchett

  • In Bruges

    In Bruges


    someone: h-
    me: Colin Farrell won the Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Com
    someone: i didn’t as-
    me: edy or Musical for his performance as Ray, a guilt-stricken hitman, in the dark comedy In Bruges (2008) dir Martin McDonagh

  • Blade Runner 2049

    Blade Runner 2049


    alternative titles i pitched in an informal email to denis villeneuve:

    Officer K & The Real Girl
    The Box Beneath The Pine
    Crazy, Stupid, (Hologram) Love
    The Nice Eyes
    Drive 2049
    Only Ford Forgives
    La La Land But They’re All Robots And No One Sings 

    still waiting for a response! :)