Providing nonsensical, grammatically incorrect, insanely wack opinions on movies since 2019.

Favorite films

  • Back to the Future
  • Mallrats
  • Dazed and Confused
  • Point Break

Recent activity

  • Mallrats


  • Beer League


  • Garfield


  • Edge of Tomorrow


Recent reviews

  • Mallrats



    The mall setting was great enough, but the addition of a flea market scene just puts this movie over the top every time.

  • Beer League

    Beer League


    “Hey Ma, could you make some gabagool and eggs?”

    Just finished my third rewatch of “Cobra Kai” to prepare for the upcoming fifth season. I know, I have a problem… It’s not the most intellectually stimulating show, but it does provide some of the best comfort viewing as a lifelong fan of “The Karate Kid” franchise (I’m a fan of everything BESIDES the Jaden Smith remake, even Jackie Chan couldn’t save that dumpster fire of a film). Anyway, I’ve always…

Popular reviews

  • Clerks III

    Clerks III

    2012 me: "Wow, I can't believe Clerks III will be Kevin Smith's final film! Bittersweet, but I'm excited for it!"

    2014 me: "Wow, I just watched 'Tusk' which was enjoyable but weird - now Kevin is planning to do Mallrats 2 instead of Clerks III. I love Mallrats, I can't wait!"

    2017 me: "We didn't get Mallrats 2 but we got 'Yoga Hosers'... okay. Now Kevin is going to do a reboot of Jay and Silent Bob?! Great, I hope…

  • Mortal Kombat

    Mortal Kombat

    Christmas 1998: My mom thought it would be a good idea to gift the 1995 movie "Mortal Kombat" to my brother (age 9) and I (age 6). When the opening credits appeared and the music started rolling - we were jump kicking each other from the living room couch and coffee table, punching the shit out of each other, and just generally going buck wild. Needless to say, my mom took the VHS tape away from us until we promised…