• Flesh Eating Mothers

    Flesh Eating Mothers

    ★★★

    Reminded me of the (few) Troma movies I actually liked. Amateurish but in ways that are mostly endearing instead of embarrassing.

  • House on the Edge of the Park

    House on the Edge of the Park

    ★★★

    Tamer than I expected! But also kind of repetitive and without much escalation.

  • Fear

    Fear

    ★½

    Whoever keeps giving Deon Taylor money and access to a camera needs to stop doing that.

  • The Sea Beast

    The Sea Beast

    ★★★

    I want to eat one.

  • Assault on Precinct 13

    Assault on Precinct 13

    ★★★★

    "You're pretty fancy, Wilson.

  • Great White

    Great White

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    So generic I'm tempted to click "I've seen this before" but out of respect for the hilarious way they kill the shark I'll refrain.

  • The Lair

    The Lair

    ★★½

    It's watchable, but repetitive and featuring some truly bad CGI blood (at one point it's used coming out of someone's mouth - could the actor not just fill up with Karo and let it pour out? They're outside too, no "We couldn't mess up our set" excuses). I'd probably give it a 3 if I didn't recognize the director's name, but...

  • Wolf Guy

    Wolf Guy

    ★★★

    I challenge anyone to guess what the last 20 minutes are about based on the first 20 minutes.

  • A Few Good Men

    A Few Good Men

    ★★★★

    I've seen this movie a million times and I only just now noticed that Cruise has a "Paul Sheldon" Misery novel next to his TV. That's some good Easter Egg-ing, Reiner.

    "You don't need a patch on your arm to have honor" is the OG "requesting permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met."

    I miss Jack.

  • Gags the Clown

    Gags the Clown

    ★★★

    Surprisingly solid! Finally, another filmmaker who understands having multiple POVs is a good way to avoid the usual tedium of a FF movie.

  • Godzilla vs. Kong

    Godzilla vs. Kong

    ★★★½

    Nearly every scene with Millie Brown and Bryan Henry is barely two stars.

    Kong pulling McClane AND Riggs moves is five stars.

    So it averages out to 3.5 stars.

    I kinda feel bad for Dan Stevens though, if Hiddleston (Skull Island) and Skarsgard (this one) are any indication, handsome blond dudes are put in these Monsterverse movies with fuck all to do.

  • Hellbender

    Hellbender

    ★★★½

    Improvement on Deeper You Dig and some convincing witchcraft elements make this worth your time.