Mulholland Drive ★★★★★

Baby’s first Lynch - Avery made it an hour in before I took her up to the nursery - and one of the movies I’ve got unconsciously memorized: every cut, every line reading, every swell of emotion, not simply anticipated and experienced  but felt, like new, time after time and probably for the rest of my life. I don’t know what it says about me that some of the modern American studio movies I love most (Mulholland Drive, Showgirls, Phantom Thread) are about women trying to gain access into closed, essentially patriarchal systems of production; of these, Mulholland is the one most unambiguously about failure, with romance, artistic fulfillment and self-love all systematically demolished. Naomi Watts as Betty/Diane activates every affectionate, protective, empathetic and prurient impulse I have. When a performance  inspires such possessive love that you can’t imagine others feeling the same way it’s obviously a sign of the opposite, that you are not alone. “Well, you can imagine how I feel.”