Tenet ½

I hated it. So much. This was beyond stupid. It’s about nothing. Anyone who says this is about anything is lying. You feel nothing watching this. I felt nothing. How upsetting to feel nothing. To watch a “movie” that clearly only wants to create very specific action sequences and set pieces and then he tried to create a random film around it (& failed). Which is fine, to be all style and yadda yadda if the action is cool or the set pieces out of this world and your goal is immersing an audience in an experience with visuals and music and crazy action. But he’s not doing that because Nolan insists. He can’t not insist, and he has to explain his film every step of the way and you cannot just enjoy the ride.  You can’t understand one word of dialogue either. You don’t really need to since the film has a very simplistic plot, “save the world”🙄 but since Nolan INSISTS on INSISTING he just has to have random characters appear to explain the movie and it’s like a competition between them talking and the demonic score & the score is like “NNNNAAAAHHOOOOOO!” Just SHUT UP and let people watch the movie!  John David Washington gives a really amazing physical performance, like very UNREAL and it is very impressive, but it’s in an embarrassingly R’d film (not allowed to say the R word cuz the moderators consider it an actual crime and they’re OBSESSED with censoring people on a film opinion site and remove all my reviews, use your imagination). Him & everyone else give the most robotic monotone performances otherwise. No one is a real person. They’re supposed to be saving the world? I guess I wouldn’t be super excited about that either but idk I would think there’d be SOME emotion happening with the stakes here?  Idk GUESS NOT!  How absolutely disappointing. This isn’t even fun. It is anti-fun. It is not pretty. I was so excited reading all of the filming locations on IMDb and I wanted to see all of these places and was excited for the 70mm experience. It didn’t matter where the fuck it was filmed because it was just closeups and explosions and boring dumb bullshit exhaustingly stretched out over 2 1/2 dumb meaningless hours. Oooooohhhh but it was INVERTED oooooohhhh woooowwww ohhh ahhhh suck my fucking dick you boring ASSHAT.  That is not what inversion is even, just the mirror image of something going backwards and forwards. Inversion is the complete opposite or juxtaposition of words and/or actions (Or people) in often random order that is completely different than what we see and are told. There are emotions constantly being manipulated when Inversion is happening and it’s very difficult to decipher. That is not the case here.  There is no emotion to be found anywhere in this film.  And I might actually miss Hans. The music in this was PSYCHOTIC. But somehow boring as fuck. Devoid of all feeling whatsoever. At least Hans wants to FUCK music and wants to fuck us all with his music. Passion. You can feel passion. You can feel excitement in something if the creator was passionate. Tenet is none of that. Despite Nolan constantly telling everyone how much he loves cinema. He loves money and he’s given tons of it to create turds like this and he doesn’t care. An extraordinarily boring film. so depressing that this is what films are now. I watched True Lies earlier which fucked so hard. Talk about an action film! Although it could have been way hotter, but still it’s like 10000x better than this dumb fucking shit. This is what movies are now.  Just empty, meaningless, feelingless voids of nothing and just an excuse to do some ‘cool stuff’ that isn’t even real.  It isn’t about engaging an audience or about being seen in a cinema or engaging with others it’s just about entertaining some poor loser who can’t figure out how to entertain themselves otherwise. Pathetic. Just pathetic. We can go to so many amazing places with our minds we should not be wasting brain power on garbage like Tenet. 

I will say the only positive is that it made me rewatch inland empire as soon as I got home because I got the urge to watch it during. There was a scene where the one dude hits his wife and it reminded me of the scene in inland however it’s nowhere near how terrifying those scenes in inland are. How with sound and the camera Lynch could make us feel any emotion, and Nolan just cannot. Lynch also defies time and space but he doesn’t need to tell us how he does it. It just happens naturally. Nolan wants to assault us with visuals and music and then over explain and lecture with his dialogue but it means nothing. It never means anything. I feel nothing.

Made several edits to my review but adding an additional couple of points: kind of fuck ‘the protagonist’ for just agreeing to help the CIA after they KIDNAPPED him and gaslit him into believing he’s saving the world. He questions nothing 😆
“Don’t question it, feel it” being a line in a Nolan film while he’s literally lecturing the audience on inversion because he thinks we are mentally disabled is hysterical

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