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  • Barry Lyndon
  • The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp
  • Hard Boiled
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  • Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★★

  • The Girl Can't Help It

    ★★★★½

  • TÁR

    ★★★★★

  • The Menu

    ★★½

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  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    ★★★★★

    The part where Tom Cruise steals the plane to tell Jon Hamm to go fuck himself is one of the purest big-dick movie star sequences since they invented cameras. The rest of the movie also kicks ass.

  • The Girl Can't Help It

    The Girl Can't Help It

    ★★★★½

    Shout out to Frank Tashlin Ship Of Theseus-ing a Garson Kanin story into a honeypot operation* to get French film critics to lose their motherfucking minds. And who can blame them, it's got gorgeous colors, hot tunes, Jayne Mansfield, the whole megillah. Movies are all right sometimes, man.

    *-citation needed

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  • Gotti

    Gotti

    ★½

    Until I was ten, my dad's main source of income was from bartending, and for several years in that period he worked at a place in Downtown Brooklyn that was a brisk walk from the borough's various courthouses. This is relevant for two reasons: the main one is a prize anecdote starring my dad's friend and coworker Jimmy, wherein during a particularly busy day at the restaurant John Gotti and retinue came in seeking strong drink and a bite to…

  • Tenet

    Tenet

    ★★★★★

    To properly explain myself I have to start many years ago. When I was 18, my second year in college, I took a fiction writing workshop taught by a well-known novelist who shall remain nameless here (mainly because if she remembers me at all, any mention of my name probably elicits a "Jesus Christ....him"). I was very excited at the prospect of getting my future storied career as A Very Serious Writer underway, and as such I was more than…