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  • Letter from an Unknown Woman

    Letter from an Unknown Woman

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The fact that this basically ends with a nun telling Louis Jourdan, deservedly, to go fuck himself with the full, weaponized force of pure Catholic guilt is exquisite.

    God Fontaine. God Ophuls. God Jourdan. This is a top 10 all-timer, easy.

  • Firewalker

    Firewalker

    ★★½

    Chuck Norris is at his best when approximating a big, wet dog. In this film, he approximates a big, wet dog.

    This movie is fucking silly as fuck but I will defend it as classicist B-movie throwback paycheck work, and for being less racist than it could be (the John Rhys-Davies sequence actually works quite well as a "ok, so rapacious treasure hunting is fine as long as you don't take it THAT far" musing, inasmuch as anything in this movie resembles thought).

    Anyway. Long live Cannon.

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  • Gotti

    Gotti

    ★½

    Until I was ten, my dad's main source of income was from bartending, and for several years in that period he worked at a place in Downtown Brooklyn that was a brisk walk from the borough's various courthouses. This is relevant for two reasons: the main one is a prize anecdote starring my dad's friend and coworker Jimmy, wherein during a particularly busy day at the restaurant John Gotti and retinue came in seeking strong drink and a bite to…

  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War

    ★★

    I'm actually okay with the fact that I need Wikipedia to keep track of who everyone is, I'm grudgingly okay with that not helping with the half dozen or so characters I flat out couldn't place even after looking them up, I'm even okay with the fucking thing being two and a half hours long despite the whole story being like "stop space Jay Leno from getting the glowy things otherwise the universe will go boom." I've loved less coherent…