Annette ★★½

Oh god. I don’t even know where to begin. When I said I wanted to see Adam Driver in a musical after his performance in Marriage Story, this is not at all what I had in mind. Most of the songs are not sung, more so spoken through in an awkwardly stilted way. And when they are sung, it’s the same weird delivery. The lyrics leave much to be desired. The only “good” song is the opening number.

I wasn’t sure if this was meant to be a send up of mismatched celebrity couplings like Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson or just a vehicle to watch Adam Driver lose his mind for almost two and half hours. The lead characters are in love for reasons unbeknownst and never divulged and you only know because the TMZ/Entertainment Tonight spoof tells you. There’s also the scene where Adam and Marion sing a song called “We Are So In Love” - the one that Adam performs cunnilingus during - and you just have to accept that they are truly, madly, deeply (I have Savage Garden on the mind) in love. And it is the Adam Driver show more than anyone else’s, even going so far as to cut away from Marion Cotillard’s soaring diva moments to go back to his woefully painful stand up sets where even the audience is singing. The titular character barely had any bearing on the plot, only serving as nightmare fuel.

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