Favorite films

  • They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
  • Husbands
  • The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On
  • The Bridge on the River Kwai

Recent activity

  • The Black Phone


  • The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie

  • Signs

  • Brazil


Recent reviews

  • The Black Phone

    The Black Phone


    The Penis Phone.

    I really had to think about this one. Of course, the easier comment would be The Black Penis but that feels like low hanging fruit.

    I think Spencer would really like this one because it’s called the black phone and there’s a black phone in it and the kid talk a lot on the black phone. And the kids say “f*ck.”

    “The Penis Phone will return.”

  • The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie

    The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie

    I… can’t remember any of the lines.”

    An infinitely more complex and difficult to follow dream-within-a-dream spider web than anything Christopher Nolan could ever hope to conjure up.

    Funny as hell, too.

Popular reviews

  • Signs


    No callbacks to your favorite characters from other M. Night films. No after credits scene. No black screen with white text reading “The Hess family will return.” How did people enjoy movies, so many eons ago, in the early 2000’s, in the wake of Bush v. Gore? 

    I wonder. I wonder about all these things. And the other things too. Were these aliens mere minions of Thanos? Or multi-dimensional beings in service of the Time Variance Authority? Can we expect…

  • Pine


    A teacher once told me an analogy. He said to imagine that there were three brothers. Each of these brothers have wives whom they beat on a regular basis. The third brother, however, beats his wife the least. Because of this, though it does not mean he is by any stretch a good husband, he is the best husband of the three in a relative sense.

    This is the Runquist film that beats its wife the least.