Scream

Scream ★★★★★

So, I started "reviewing" movies last year. I watched Scream last year, just like every October since I turned 16, but I didn't write anything, because I wasn't comfortable. I wasn't very confident in my writing (I still think I'm not special but I'm sure as hell better than the sad logs I made last year lmao), but also, I wasn't ready to talk about it.

Scream means the world to me. I watched it right when I needed it.

Fuck, I'm still nervous about this, but I want to get it off my chest, it makes me feel better and less ashamed every time I talk about this. Sorry in advance about the life dump I'm about to throw on all of you.

When I was 10, a slighty older family member started abusing me. A little after he started, my parents caught him, and my father, who was abusive in his own way, blamed me, thought I was "liking it", or "in on it", I guess. He punished me. My family member got pretty much a slap on the wrist. He kept coming almost every weekend for "sleepovers" and he kept doing it. I shut my mouth, because when your own father tells you it's your fault, you believe it. I just thought I was going to have to deal with it.

Well, it kept going for years. When I was 16, I was at the end of my rope. I was at the age where I was really started to see how messed up everything was, and when you realize stuff like that, it feels like it's hitting you even harder. I still blamed myself, so I didn't say anything even though I wasn't living with my father anymore and my mom was, and still is, my freaking rock. I was just resigned, my life was gonna suck forever and I was never getting out of it.

And then, on October 2011, I watched Scream for the first time.

Fuck, I'm getting teary eyed writing this, I still remember my first time watching this film vividly. I connected so much with Sidney I was tearing up in fear for her, I literally jumped and cheered alone in my room when the film ended. Just the way she was written and performed, it just spoke to me so much! And it was the first time I had seen a female character protrayed like that when overcoming her trauma. She didn't die, she didn't gain superpowers, she didn't learn martial arts or become a gun wielding commando, she didn't go in a bloody revenge path, she was just herself. Her feisty, strong willed, resilient, tough, badass self. A teenager, like me at the time, that's it. And, honestly, it changed my whole outlook on my own crap. I realized I could make it, I knew I was capable of that. And I did, eventually. And it sucked, it really did, but I'm so fucking glad I did it, and rewatching this movie reminds me how much of a badass I freaking am. I'm not very kind with myself, so sometimes I need that. Like, I've been THROUGH IT, peeps, and I'm here. I'm fucking awesome. And Sidney is fucking awesome. Scream is fucking awesome. I will love these characters and this movie FOREVER. ❤❤❤Scream is not the only film that has helped me get through bad shit. Movies are powerfull y'all! ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Before I go to bed, I just want to say thanks for reading, and just thanks, you peeps make me feel safe telling all this personal stuff, and for that, I'll always be thankful for being part of this little community of letterboxers. Love you, peeps ❤

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