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  • Thriller

    Thriller

    ★★½

    waaay more talking than murdering, but the characters are ok, RZA plays a school principal, and there are a few strong scenes. i think equality in the film industry ultimately means everyone gets the same chances to make perfectly fine, middle of the road movies without the expectation that they have a timely important message or represent an entire section of the population - so i think this unremarkable genre exercise is, in fact, a form of progress.

  • Deewana

    Deewana

    ★★★

    worth watching for a love song about anklets, a love song in the rain, the weird repetitive horror music every time the villain shows up, the constant zooming in on character's faces (specifically a third act reaction shot), and SRK riding into his film debut on a big block of ice

  • Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa

    Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa

    ★★★★

    SRK playing a hot pink harmonica on the beach while crying...

  • Into the Blue

    Into the Blue

    ★★

    gets more and more boring as the action gets more intense, which is some sort of twisted achievement i guess. unfortunately john stockwell learned absolutely nothing from working with tony scott, john carpenter, albert pyun, and curtis hanson. paul walker a beautiful pure angel as always.

  • Savage Dog

    Savage Dog

    ★★

    five stars for the ridiculous transition wipes (the one at the very end!!!), keith david, and this excerpt from the subtitles:
    [chewing on liver]
    [spitting out chunks]

    one star for everything else

  • North Star

    North Star

    ★★★

    figured this would be a nightmare since the only thing i knew was extremely french christopher lambert plays a half alaska native - but it was actually pretty good? lambert owns a mining claim on his family's sacred land so that no white men can pillage it, until villain james caan has his men murder him as a plan to murder all the claim owners, buy their land, own the whole area, and ban immigrants from staking claims. lambert doesn't…

  • Dil Se..

    Dil Se..

    ★★★★★

    if this was the only movie that existed i would be perfectly fine

  • Set It Up

    Set It Up

    a good example of what casting for completely shallow "diversity" reasons does - i don't think equality means the opressed ideally switch places and become the oppressors? so you've got a successful black businessman - wow! progressive! but the entire finale hinges on his white assistant giving him a lecture and another white man throwing coffee at him? the whole idea of two white people controlling a black man and an asian woman's lives "for their own good" is in…

  • The River Wild

    The River Wild

    ★★★★★

    very few people have ever been as beautiful as meryl in this movie

  • Crossing Delancey

    Crossing Delancey

    ★★★★★

    i was so upset that this movie ended i just let the dvd player start it over again

  • Fatal Beauty

    Fatal Beauty

    ★★½

    everyone's always talking shit about millenials being non-functioning depressed infants but did they ever consider that literally every movie released in the 80s was a lighthearted comedy full of incredibly distressing and disturbing images that traumatized an entire generation of americans

  • Pet Shop

    Pet Shop

    ★★★★

    mark rappaport should sue furby for stealing his creature design!!