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sydney has written 84 reviews for films with no rating.

  • Set It Up

    Set It Up

    a good example of what casting for completely shallow "diversity" reasons does - i don't think equality means the opressed ideally switch places and become the oppressors? so you've got a successful black businessman - wow! progressive! but the entire finale hinges on his white assistant giving him a lecture and another white man throwing coffee at him? the whole idea of two white people controlling a black man and an asian woman's lives "for their own good" is in…

  • Witchcraft III: The Kiss of Death

    Witchcraft III: The Kiss of Death

    i had to skip part 2 so i could watch this lady directed entry for international women's day...cannot express how much i adore the dreamy/grimy aesthetic of these...the warlock vs warlock plot is pretty great aside from the highly dubious african mystic type guy who aids the hero...honestly though it doesn't matter what happens, watching this at 1am brings me such a sense of calm and contentment, i don't know why my stupid brain is wired this way but i hope i never find the cure

  • Whispers and Lies

    Whispers and Lies

    gloriously, beautifully dumb...really love the way that this gently unfolds the most mindblowing, impossible, twisted shit with the same level of urgency one would experience when you lose your house keys or are going to be late for a meeting, and that the stunning conclusion is literally melissa joan hart giving a stern lecture and leaving.

  • Replicas


    we are so blessed this dtv philip k dick knockoff insanity somehow teleported from 2003 into theaters in 2019, show some god damn respect

  • Van Helsing

    Van Helsing

    been wanting to watch this for a long while, just to see if it was really as bad as everyone says. it's quite bad! case closed, looking forward to starting the first chapter of my post van helsing life in 2019

  • The Last Unicorn

    The Last Unicorn

    back in the day when i was poor(er) and alone, the only way me and my toddler could watch tv was cassettes from goodwill. i'd go pick up anything that looked remotely interesting for 25cents each, and neither of us cared too much how atrocious the movies were (though i did try to stick to the older disneys and the don bluths and the weird/traumatic stuff of the 80s and early 90s - i'm not a total monster!). this was…

  • Creepozoids


    that friggin ending!!! ridley scott wishes

  • Twilight


    i've come home, i'm so cold
    let me in your window

  • Halloween


    if this is """of the MeToo era""" (barf), then it's telling to know that, from a handful of male perspectives, women who have suffered an assault of some kind are unstable outliers - women shunned by "normal" society, who spend forty years consumed with THE MAN, only existing to kill time before their revenge, so flawed that their trauma cycles into the next two generations of women. AS IF we don't all get up and go about our lives, forced…

  • A Star Is Born

    A Star Is Born

    tfw andrew dice clay is the best part of your movie

  • 1313: Boy Crazies

    1313: Boy Crazies

    i was searching for info on the 1313 house and i found some reddit thread where a guy was like "why are these movies so popular in the gay community?? why not just watch porn?? i mean...yeah, they're full of hot guys walking around in their underwear, and they're hilarious and a lot of fun to watch, and there's a million of them so you never get bored, but ???" and the only reply was "you answered your own question…

  • Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

    Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    a vision of the america that could have been, where the black man gets up and lives happily ever after and the abuser gets his head chopped off by his victim. honestly i can't tell if this movie is bad or not, i was busy crying, my head is throbbing, maybe it sucks or maybe i could write a book about the combination of middle school nostalgia and confrontation with trauma in this forgotten masterpiece, who knows anything anymore