Her ★★★★★

For the past two months, I've discovered a new habit, and that's walking while listening to music every day after work. Up until this point I've never done it, but I've discovered how truly alive it makes me feel. The reason I've been doing this is because for the longest time, I've been listening to cheesy romantic/melancholy songs while daydreaming about an idealized relationship with someone in my imagination through the lyrics I listen to. Not with anyone in my real life, but a fictional story. The conversations we would have together, the places we would go and the things we'd see, how my social anxiety was gone and how nothing could ever be wrong or come between us. This year, I fell in love with the idea of being in love.

And for valentines day, I decided to do something I've been putting off forever, and that's watching Her. Watching this movie feels like being enveloped by a warm glow, a glow you don't want to let go of but you know has to end. My favorite thing after watching a movie no matter how rare it is, is feeling like I've discovered new things about myself. Her is a discovery, no doubt. It made me realize that that fictional, perfect relationship I have down to a science in my head is...unrealistic, to say the least.

Love is work, love is communication, love is honesty and growth no matter how scary for both parties. That's what I learned on this valentines day. Maybe that connection I so desperately want with another person will happen one day, but I know it wont be as perfect in my head. And that's okay. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be a fairy tale. Hell, it wont be a fairy tale. But it'll be love all the same.

"If you ever get there, come find me. Nothing would ever pull us apart."

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