Cary has written 7 reviews for films rated ★★½ .

  • Wrath of Man

    Wrath of Man


    Ah yes a new addition to the “aggrieved father seeking revenge” pantheon.

    It’s dark. It’s gritty. It’s tense. It’s not really fun. Jason Statham kicks ass and is a role model for all bald men.

    @Guy Ritchie please make more Man From U.N.C.L.E and less of this

  • Justice League: War

    Justice League: War


    Now that’s the real Justice League!

  • Wonder Woman 1984

    Wonder Woman 1984


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Everyone is harping on Barbara’s wish to be a cat but it makes perfect sense. The whole movie is an allegory to the development of 4th wave feminism, and Barbara’s transformation into a cat is the perfect device to illustrate this.

    Barbara’s ultimate demise (or ascendence, depending on your perspective) at the pool of water is an ode to the foremost feminist anthem of the 21st century. By submerging herself in water, Barabara ultimately becomes the Wet Ass Pussy.

    Thank you for attending this WGSS lecture led by a cis-man.

  • Wonder Woman 1984

    Wonder Woman 1984


    Actions apparently have no consequences.

    Stylistic choreography and effects on top of a well-intentioned yet timid and corny story that lacks the heart of the original. 

    But damn does Gal Gadot look good in everything. Onesie? Killed it. Oversized suit? Perfection. Covered in golden armor? What men dream about.

    Though I still can’t stop thinking about the fact that Robin Wright and Connie Nielsen were called in to relearn Gal Gadot’s accent and read 3 lines.

  • BLACKPINK: Light Up the Sky

    BLACKPINK: Light Up the Sky


    I don’t know why I watched this but I did and now I’m glad I know the name of every Blackpink member

  • A Kid from Coney Island

    A Kid from Coney Island


    Yea it’s not great but I cried because it’s about my 马政委

  • The Old Guard

    The Old Guard


    The amount of pop hits in this movie doesn’t cover up all the mediocre garbage underneath

    Oh and you bet your ass I’m gonna watch The Old Guard 2 when it comes out