This made $2,790,000,000 and given how boring it is I have to assume $2,500,000,000 of that was from people who wanted to fuck the cats.
I clicked the little "I've watched this film before" button because I am SO CERTAIN that's true but also it had so completely faded from my memory that I may as well have never seen it.
It's fine! I guess? It's fine. I'll say the same boring thing everyone else says, which is that Phillip Seymour Hoffman is outstanding in it. There's really basically nothing for that villain on the page, at all. Like, as written he's no more or…
At one point I paused this movie to use the restroom, and while I was there I noticed something that needed cleaning, so I dug out the paper towels and surface cleaner and after a few minutes I realized I had so little investment in The Old Guard that I didn’t give it a second thought before starting a chore.
I feel like when Netflix pivoted to original content there was a lot of doomsaying about mediocrity and the death…