• The Matrix Revolutions

    The Matrix Revolutions


    Jesus Christ... I'm so tired after watching this. The Wachowskis decided to go all out on this last one. And when I say all out, I mean ALL OUT. I'd say a good... I dunno... 87% of this is action?! And so much of it isn't even GOOD action! Like half the movie is composed of different assorted shots of fucking CG ships flying around in a giant metallic asshole. And the final fight between Neo and Smith is easily…

  • The Matrix Reloaded

    The Matrix Reloaded


    Believe it or not, Neo STILL knows kung fu.

    So yes, this is my first time watching the "Matrix" sequel. And here pretty soon I'll eventually get around to knocking out "Revolutions" too. I figured I could watch these before "Resurrections" hits theaters. But I had heard that neither of the original's sequels even come close to being as good as the first. So do I find that true so far...?

    Yeah. I do, so far. While "Reloaded" still has…

  • Bo Burnham: What.

    Bo Burnham: What.


    Goddammit, Bo Burnham's funny. Even if this released back in 2013 and one or two jokes don't hit as hard now, "Hold my fanny pack, I'm gonna go fuck a woman" will always make me laugh. But what was the point to "What.?" What was the deeper, more introspective meaning behind it all?

    Life is about three things:
    1. Getting money
    2. Getting pussy
    3. The Dewey Decimal System

  • Becoming Mike Nichols

    Becoming Mike Nichols


    What a fascinating guy, honestly. While this documentary is a bit shoddy here and there, (what with its music that sounds like stock music and its playing movie clips WAY too long) the tone of this also doesn't do nearly enough to represent everything Nichols did in this career, and the effect he had on the world of film, television, and theatre.

    But still, "Becoming Mike Nichols" proves to be a light and interesting look into certain key points of Nichols' career, and into the way he worked.

  • The Thin Man

    The Thin Man


    A pretty lighthearted mystery! We've got great chemistry between our leads, a pretty fun mystery to solve, and extremely large amounts of alcoholism! What's not to love? But seriously though, there is a... disturbing amount of drinking going on here.

    But really though, the mystery here in fairly engaging, and the comedy in this is fairly amusing. I guess "fair" would be a perfect word to describe this...

    This film gets an extra ten points for Asta the dog, and for a pre-Joker Cesar Romero.

  • La Strada

    La Strada


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Jesus Fellini, are you trying to ruin my day?! This entire story is practically designed to make you bawl. It's really a story of damaged people. People who are too broken and hurt to make anything of themselves or their lives.

    Even Gelsomina, the most innocent person who wouldn't hurt a fly, becomes so broken that she's able to be convinced that she's hurt and abused out of love. Then in the end, the harsh reality of her life becomes…

  • On the Waterfront

    On the Waterfront


    God, Brando was so amazing. I swear. His charisma and personality alone were enough to carry this film, but then this has such a great story and excellent cinematography on top as well. I'd been told to watch "On the Waterfront" for a while, due to it being a classic and all. But it really is worth a watch. There're lots of themes of being bold and doing the right thing even when it's not easy.

    And of course the whole thing's led by Brando. So like, YEAH, you've gotta see it.

  • House of Gucci

    House of Gucci


    What a fucking weird movie, honestly. I feel like Ridley Scott didn't completely know what tone he was going for here. On one hand this feels like it's trying to feel like somewhat of a Scorsese mob/crime/drama, then on the other hand there's so much campiness in this that it's almost a comedy.

    I dunno. And every single actor in this seems like they're all in different films, too. Lady Gaga is taking this film super seriously and honestly crushed…

  • tick, tick...BOOM!

    tick, tick...BOOM!


    Well good job, Lin-Manuel Miranda! You made something I liked! The theatre kid energy in this is high. It's basically at DEFCON 1. But for this film in particular, that wasn't a bad thing. First off, I just wanna point out that my boy Andrew Garfield has been KILLING it here recently with "Mainstream," "The Eyes of Tammy Faye," and now "Tick, Tick... Boom!" (And "No Way Home" in December, but y'know... that's just our little secret for now...)


  • Casablanca



    An absolutely brilliant piece of cinema, and undeniably a timeless classic. There are few films that I've seen that are as well-written or as able to keep my attention as "Casablanca." Every aspect of this film is absolutely breathtaking. The score, the writing, the acting, and the gorgeous cinematography is to be cherished.

    I swear to god. This really is one of those "overhyped" movies that 100% deserves the hype it gets. The film takes a deep dive into analyzing…

  • Red Notice

    Red Notice


    So basically this is a more accurate "Uncharted" movie than the ACTUAL "Uncharted" movie coming out here soon. And the sad part is that Ryan Reynolds would actually make a better Nathan Drake than Tom Holland...

    Anyway, yeah. This whole movie feels like a fake movie. And what I mean by that is that "Red Notice" feels almost like a parody of big, dumb, loud action/comedies with star-studded casts. There's some bad writing here, some plot holes there, and horrendous…

  • The Maltese Falcon

    The Maltese Falcon


    Twists!! Turns!! I mean sweet Jesus, there's something surprising happening in this every five seconds! But really though, this is a pretty great mystery film. I can confidently say that there wasn't a single scene in this where I was bored or not following along.

    One thing I think is super interesting about film noir is that there are no real "good guys." It's not as simple as saying something is either black or white because in a film noir…