• Cotton Comes to Harlem

    Cotton Comes to Harlem


    This movie is, in fact, Black enough for me. Ossie Davis found the perfect line to walk between the two extremes of 70’s Black Cinema, the low budget nuttiness and the ultra serious with a few genuine laughs mixed in for good measure.

  • Shoot 'Em Up

    Shoot 'Em Up


    A film called Shoot ‘Em Up has certain standards to live up to - and it does, in all its CGI blood drenched, ridiculously crisp green screen, B movie ridiculousness.

  • The Capture of the Green River Killer

    The Capture of the Green River Killer


    Harrison Wells captures a serial killer.

  • Smack 'Em Up: Reality Bites

    Smack 'Em Up: Reality Bites


    D’yeh like Finn Balor? Well, here’s a fairly basic documentary about his last Indy run and last NJPW tour before he headed to the E. 

    It is what it is, and your mileage depends on your fandom of Mr Devitt.

  • The Parallax View

    The Parallax View


    Watched twice in a fortnight. Guess I like this film.

  • The Banishing

    The Banishing


    What do you get when you take an M.R. James influenced haunted house story and take it completely, willingly, and joyously off those rails and onto those of The Conjouring, et al? Why - you get this, of course. Is it good? Good enough, and pushed up by Sean Harris (of all people) eating ALL the scenery. And hey, there was even a somewhat effective jump scare - so, well played, Smith.

  • Zoom



    ..Emma and Bob work in a real doll factory. They fuck occasionally. Emma is working on a graphic novel about..

    ..Edward Deacon, a B movie action director who is trying to direct his new film - far more artsy and introspective than his usual fare - a film about..

    ...Michelle, a model who is unsatisfied with her life, so returns home to Brazil where she gets in touch with herself and is about to work on her novel about..


  • Eyes of Laura Mars

    Eyes of Laura Mars


    Stacked cast (Dunaway, Julia, Jones, Dourif, amongst others). Solid director (Kirschner). Story by John Carpenter. Produced by sentient pile of cocaine Jon Peters. 

    Still an incredibly below average giallo-esque melodrama, even ranked against many other below average giallos.

  • Contact



    What can I say about this, but “perfection”. Quite possibly the best Terra based space film of all time, with an absolutely STACKED cast who definitely came to work. Matthew McConaughey’s Palmer Joss talks of “human truth” early in the film, and that’s what this is - in whatever form it may present itself to, and from, each individual.

  • Fermat's Room

    Fermat's Room


    “What if Saw, but mathematics?” is the major conceit of Fermat’s Room. Four people invited to a room where...someone is using mathematical puzzles to try to kill them. Why? You’ll find out. Why them? You’ll find that out too. Do they know each other? Indirectly - but you already knew that...they ALWAYS do in these sort of films. 

    Does this film do anything different with the sub-genre? Asides from putting maths as the driving force, not really no. But, what is there gets the job done.

  • Kyrsyä: Tuftland

    Kyrsyä: Tuftland


    So, you’ve accidentally joined an incest rape cult? And that’s just when things start to go really bizarre. Like Midsommar’s greasier cousin, that at least doesn’t try to hide what it is under a bright veneer. 

    Well, this sure does exist. I have no idea why, but it does.

  • Lord of Illusions

    Lord of Illusions

    I’ve never actually read any Clive Barker’s writings, but, based on the impression I get from the few screen adaptations I’ve seen - I don’t think I’m missing anything. 

    Lord of Illusions is yet another Barker that I’ve had absolutely no fun with - and, for a film that stars Scott Bakula, Famke Janssen, Kevin J O’Connor, and Daniel von Bargen...that’s unforgivable.